...me, myself, and i...

aaawwww....

2006-08-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

it has been a long while since i last updated my blog. so many things happened and i really regret letting a day pass without even typing on my blog.

Let us start with the 19th of August...

The whole batch went to GK Roque to do some outreach activities. We painted the newly built houses of Gawad Kalinga. We also saw children and played with them. We were able to interview some families regarding their financial status and the problems they often encounter with the place. Happily, none gave a negative response. I discovered that these families were from the victims of fire at pasong tamo. They were relocated and given free homes. As payment for the houses, they only need to help in building and painting them. We met a man and told us the background of his family. we were so touched because we didn't know that he is working from monday to sunday, selling doughnuts which he made by himself, just to support his family. he has 3 children and 2 are attending school. At the end of the day, the YFC representative led a prayer. I was so touched because he prayed for us. He prayed that we may never forget doing charitable acts. He asked for our guidance in college. He thanked god for people like us who are open in offering help for the in need. I almost shed a tear during the prayer. I was so overwhelmed with the words he said to god. I didn't expect that they would thank us that much....

Then yesterday... Aug. 21, 2006

I was with my classmates at qc circle. we were walking, trying to find a place to stay because it's raining, when this child ran infront of us. He hugged Daryll and called him daddy. It was also to my surprise when he hugged me and called me mommy. The event was so fast and i was not able to react for about 3 seconds. I was really shocked. I didn't even know what to do. During that time, i was texting so we all thought that the child would grab our stuff and run but he didn't. he just called me mommy and ran... he ran fast but you know that he was going nowhere. I felt a pinch in y heart. maybe it was because of pitty. this street child must have been looking for his parents. At lunch time, i saw him again at tropical hut asking for food. my heart was really melting. i couldn't even look at him because i know that i will shed a tear.

This past few days, many events occured that really made my heart melt. Some even made me cry. I know i'm sensitive with these kind of incidents but... why can't i be sensitive too when it comes to my family?...

i really had fun....

2006-07-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

we went to UP theater yesterday right after my UPCAT review.
we went there to watch CHI-NOI. first, i was in a really bad mood
because i was not with mona and kate in the seating arrangement.
there's this isle between me and mona so i was them two who were
seating together. but when the play started, something just
brightened up my mood. it was the cast...
they were all funny and really cute. (specially the guys)
even after watching the play, i still can imagine their faces.
specially the main actor kwun-lee. he is really cute.
almost all the girls can't help smiling whnever he is
in front! ha-ha! after watching. mona & i decided to go for a walk
and find our buildings for the UPCAT exam. we walked around the campus,
ate fishballs and quail eggs, talked and talked and talked.
it was alot of bonding for us. we saw many ex-xientians.
we both had alot of fun and also, we both ended up with tired legs.

at last....

2006-07-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

after a very long, hard, and very tiring week...
at last! tommorow is friday!
we just had our diagnostic test knina...
kanina din, mona came bak to school...
nagka-dengue kc siya so nag-absent sya mula nung monday.
kanina nilibre ko si gino ng lunch.
actually, hindi yun libre...
pinautang ko lang siya kc kylangn nyang kumain.
medyo magulo lagay ng elements ngayon but 1 thing is common...
we are all worried about each other's feelings.
after 2 years, ngayon lang din nakapag reunite ang becquerel 1.
kahit di kami kumpleto, masaya nmn kami kanina...

i'm excited but nervous

2006-06-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

wahaha!!!

at last!

i got my UPCAT test permit yesterday.

i was so happy to hold it.

i just can't believe that it's mine!

i was really happy but at the same time,

i was very nervous.

it is only now that i'm starting to feel

the pressure from my family.

it's like,

i really have to pass this!

i admit that i'm very proud of it

but i'm also very scared of

what the result might be.

i just hope that many people

will pray for a miracle that i need...

extended birthday...

2006-06-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

last thursday...

sir bacabac gave me this sour gum as a gift daw for my birthday.

the next day,

Tk gave me 15 pcs. grape flavoured menthos as a gift din daw.

it is 15 pcs. because i'm already 15.

then yesterday,

i had the most unforgetable day of my life...

(akin nlng yun ha! di ko na i-shshare...)

super bc na sa skul.

i'm really starting to feel na i'm a senior.

daming tests na dapat paghandaan.

i just hope i can pass khit 1...

it's so unfair!

2006-06-18T23:23:00.000-07:00

today, feel ko may alam na si mommy about the things happening. kanina pa niya kc ako

kinukulit about my love life. i insisted na wala! she told me to be honest with her if i still

want to have her trust. kasi naman eh... there is this one thing na i really can't understand.

bakit pag sila ang nagutos sayo to do something kahit hindi mo gusto, obliged ka na sundin yun. kahit pa para lang sa ikatutuwa nila. pero bakit pag ikaw ang humingi ng favor sa kanila na kahit permission lang hingin mo, pwede silang tumanggi. pag ginawa mo yung ikatutuwa nila, sasabihin

nila na napakabait mo, their proud of you, things like that. pero pag ginawa mo yung para sa ikatutuwa mo, sasabihin nila na you are being inconsiderate about them. sasabihin nila na hindi mo na sila mahal. why is it so unfair! pag tayo ang nasunod, we are selfish!pero pag sila, hindi. hindi ba nila naiisip na kahit we're still depending on them, we also want to do things our way. and bait sila allowed mag draw ng conclusions about our lives. bakit tau hindi pwede yun when it comes to their mistakes. yes we can learn from them, pero bakit hindi nila makita na thay can also learn from us. Why do we always need to do our sacrifices... dahil ba sa kulang pa yun compared sa sacrifices nila for us? but still! they don't alwaysknow what's best for us. Look at this, they are allowed to tell us how inconsiderate we are buy why are we not allowed to tell them that sometimes they are also being inconsiderate about our feelings... Why can't they just let me prove to them that i will not do anything that would destroy my own life. why don't they just let me grow the way that i must. pano kasi, for them, i still can't decide on my own... if that's the case, then why do they tell me na i know what's right from wrong and i'm big enough to know what's best for me if they will just take control of my life. hindi ba nila alam na they are taking away the most precious person for me?!

birthday ko

2006-06-17T11:40:00.000-07:00

although at first i was a little disappointed kasi walang elements na pumunta sa bahay,

things ended up great. dumating ang aking long lost friend na si jamil...

ngaun lng ako nag birthday na kasama siya after 11 years.

na-miss ko tlga lahat ng kalokohan nya at pambubugbog sa kanya.

then dumating cna andres, dunne, at francis. natuwa ako kc dumating cla.

hindi cla nakalimot about my birthday. then dumating cna macy at marilyn.

galing pa sila sa expert guides for their UPCAT review. natuwa ako kc kahit gano sila ka-busy,

they still considered my party or should i say birthday, sa sched nila.

then sinundo naming tatlo si steph sa house nila. so yun, sama-sama nanaman kaming apat.

sayang lang na kim and eunice were not here. super na-miss nmin ang chikahan.

we spent the time talking sa may garden where the air is cold.

kinanta din namin yung song na na-compose namin nung second year for our creative writing elective. After a few minutes, dumating c jackie (friend ng sister ko).

i'm so glad na kahit late na siya dumating, she still tried to come.

bumili pa daw kc siya ng gift kaya late na siya nakarating. up to 11 pm nandito pa sa house cna andres. nagkantahan lang kami all through out. sabi nila may bagong mojofly or imago sa daw! hehehe... ang cute kc nung pic namin. parang album cover. sana ma-upload ni macy sa friendster lhat ng pics that night. super as in we're like lasing na sa antok ksi tawa nalang kami ng tawa habang kanta ng kanta... imagine kung gano kmi kagulo!

about sa gifts... natuwa ako sa elements kc khit di cla nakapunta, binigyan nila ako ng denim na pillow. super useful nun for me pag depress ako. un lang kasi maiiyakan ko pag gabi. then dana gave me this picture frame. bilin niya na lagyan ko daw yun ng picture ng elements. then jackie gave me a watch. pink siya tapos my butterflies. Then pinaka na appreciate ko yung gift sakin ni jamil. He bought this puppy stuff toy sa blue magic that says i love you on his tummy. it's so cute although i know na it is expensive. sabi kc ng mom nya ipa-david's salon nlang niya ko for my hair. kaso he insisted to buy me something nalang. kasi daw pag nagpa-salon ako, matatagalan lng kame.

But there is this something that really made my day special and complete. natanggap ko yung pinaka gusto kong gift. Yun ay ang makasama o makita ko manlang yung pinaka special na tao sa buhay ko. When i saw him, i really don't know what to do. hindi ko alam if i should hug him, hold his hand, or even smile at him. super nataranta ako and just ended up approaching him without even having a word to say but "hi". as in state of shock! Feel ko i'm dreaming. like everything is not true. super nilambing ko siya kasi hindi ko alam kung kelan ko ulit magagawa yun.

awwww....

2006-06-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

this day is very tiring.
It started wrongly and so...
it ended up wrongly.
this is the worst day of my life so far.
feel ko wala akong ginawang tama.
super na disappoint ako sa sarili ko.
bakit ganun?...
dapat nga masaya ako kasi friends na
kame ulit nung mga taong mdyo napalayo sakin.
our friendship is back
at may isa pang "our relationship is back".
pero bakit hindi ako masaya?!
cguro dahil naiwan ko filler ko kanina sa math
kaya wala akong homework.
pinaghirapan ko pa naman un!
ah basta!
pagod na ko...
i better sleep.

a joyful day

2006-06-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

i take one step away

but i find myself comming back to you

my one and only you

___________________________________________

ganun pala talaga...

the more you miss the person,

the more you hunger for him...

pag dumating na yung araw na nakakapag-usap na kau ulit,

dun mo marrealize kung gano mo siya ka miss

***

"you'll never now the value of a treasure unless you lost it"

gc mode...

2006-06-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

first saturday ng school days...
first rest day...
haayy....
thank God it's saturday!
sa wakas I can take a whole day of sleep.
Medyo masaya na mga past days ko.
super GC na din ako...
imagine...
fave subject ko calculus!
san ka pa!
i got my phone back na pero
i'm planning to change my number.
medyo mahirap 4th year.
umpisa palang,
ngarag na ko...
pero ok lang...
kaya pa naman eh...

2nd day of skul...

2006-06-06T00:15:00.000-07:00

2nd day na ng classes and everything is going fine...

medyo hindi nanga lang buo elements kc c jomigs avo

na tapos cna mela, zulie at anna einstein na...

2nd day palang pero

super ngarag na ko sa mga

dapat gawin. s

uper busy ng life...

pero madyo masaya na ko ngaun...

masaya in many ways...

jesus, take the wheel

2006-06-04T10:04:00.000-07:00

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

To save me from this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll just let You control my life...

'coz i really don't know what to do...

so it's all up to You...

help me to focus my mind...

and help me to concentrate on my goals...

just help me get out of this crap...

***

may pasok na bukas pero hindi pa ready utak ko... masyadong maraming laman! i just hope i'll be able to focus on my studies...

tattooed on my mind

2006-06-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

Baby you'll soon forget about all,

or maybe you'll miss it like I do.

One thing's for sure I'm on a doubt,

spend too much time thinkin' of you

And I can't get you out of my dreams

Now I know that you're the dangerous kind

And your smile is tattooed on my mind

And I can't get you out of my dreams

Don't wanna write,

I don't wanna call,

I would not know what to say

It should be you

That's how I want it to be

Tell me you feel the same way

Oh, Yesterday, I was feelin' safe, oh

All I do today is tryin' to be BRAVE

and no melody can seem to suit my mind...

and now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind

Yes I know you're tattooed

On my mind you're tattooed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and i can't get you out of my head...

things that keeps on bothering me...

questions that has no answers...

i can't understand what's goin on...

confusion is the only thing in me...

i can't focus on my life...

cause i know i'll just waste effort on nothing...

someone's always saying goodbye

2006-06-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

Why do people fall in love and they end up crying

Why do lovers walk away from themselves

When their hearts are breaking
Why does loving sometimes never stay long

Why does kissing this time mean you'll be gone

Why does gladness become sadness

Things that I don't get
Someone's always saying goodbye

I believe it hurts when we cry

Don't we know partings never so easy

And with all the aching inside

I believe some hearts won't survive

Trying hard to pretend that we're gonna be fine
I could never really love someone else but you

I have never wanted anything else but a love so true

But just like a dream that comes in the night

In the morning you were out of my sight

Turned away from me

Sadly as I see

Away from where I stand

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

why do hearts need to be broken and not easily be mended

why do people pretend to be happy when they are not

why do love makes people happy then suddenly makes them broken

why do people can't just be numb

numb to not feel the pain and longing

why...why...why...

why can't i just be happy...